Sorry
by Happy2BeDee
Summary: What Olivia wishes she would have said. Bensler


**Just a quick one-shot. Set during season nine so we all know what monumental mistake didn't happen during season eight (I was watching 'Annihilated again, sue me). Dick Wolf owns, I just use.**

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2:14 AM. Most people would be sleeping at this hour but she's been called for duty. She sat up, trying to drain the sleep from her eyes as she got out of bed, clumsily looking for the match to her slipper in the dark and finally just gave up and headed down the hall barefoot; not wanting to keep her waiting.

Olivia stumbled into the nursery as her baby's cries were escalating but just before she began full-on wailing, she quickly scooped her up into her arms, thinking about her daddy as she lifted her. She was getting so much bigger, her eyes were just like his, blue and intense now that they were full of tears.

"Hey baby girl!" she sang lightly and smiled. It was 2 in the morning and she was beyond tired, but seeing her daughter always brought joy, especially when her little one looked at her like now; like she was her whole world and nothing else existed. Her little lips stopped the frown that had settled temporarily on her face, immediately alleviating her tears and she gave a smile, a smile that was just like his.

"Yeah, you know mama's got you huh?" Olivia said sadly as she took a seat in the big rocking chair, curling up her legs up under her. As she lifted her tee shirt and undid her bra, the baby babbled incoherently, happily but with a whine with all the knowledge that a four month old could muster knowing that on some level Olivia understood her and she did, kissing her and laughing softly as she put her to her breast to feed. The baby seemed to forget her worries then and concentrated solely on finally getting her milk, looking at Olivia as to say _thank you mommy!_

"You're welcome, baby girl!" she said as Elle's little hand went up and she grabbed and kissed it. "I wish he were here too."

" _I gotta get outta here!" He said. All those feelings over seeing Malcolm's kids had taken a toll on him and now having just told Malcolm…_

" _Are you…?"_

" _I'm fine...I…" He said._

" _No you're not...come." She said. Before they knew it they had ended up at Elliot's apartment trying to drink beer but neither of them could stomach the taste for whatever reason and both beers sat there on the coffee table, uncapped with a sip or two taken from them and abandoned. They sat there instead and talked, Olivia prying out Elliot's feelings and when he grew weary of talking, he kissed her; knowing how completely stupid it was but something in him needed to feel that contact, needed to feel right now that everything was everything. But most of all, maybe this was a way that he could finally tell her, show her how he felt. They had been through so many ups and downs this past year; maybe tonight..._

" _Elliot, what are we doing?" She asked a question that she already knew the answer to the moment his lips touched hers. She wanted this as much as he did but god…_

" _What we should have done a long time ago." He said low and sultry as he backed her against the kitchen counter, reaching up to let her hair out, smiling at how beautiful she was with it down and once again planted his lips on hers._

"Who could have known?" She said quietly to herself and smiling through her tears.

 _Six weeks after that night when she found out that she was pregnant, to say that she was terrified would have been an understatement. She and Elliot had been taking things slow and this was unplanned and she panicked. After a week of hiding it, being unsure what to do, she finally told Elliot, quite by accident in the halls of the courthouse during Darius' trial; it just came out but once it did she knew she couldn't take it back and she stood there and cried._

" _I'm sorry…"_

" _You're having my baby?!" He said with a grin._

She looked down at her daughter, falling asleep at her breast but she knew that if she moved her just yet she'd encourage a crying fit so she stayed put, stroking her little girls hair, curling it around her finger; it was just like hers she thought, dark and wavy. She remembered the morning she was born.

 _Elliot had talked her into letting him take her out for her birthday, December 13th. She remembered how large she was and didn't want to go anywhere but Elliot convinced her that with the baby coming in two weeks that she should have one last night of fun so she agreed. He took her out to dinner and dancing and when he got her back to her apartment later that night, he stayed over and they made love. She woke up early in the morning, around 4 and her labor had started. She went through 28 hours total. The baby did not want to come out and she was in agony but Elliot was there through every minute even when the pain had her out of her mind. She hadn't planned on screaming, but around hour 19 she couldn't do it and let go, her_ _water also never broke and when Elle finally came, she came out fully in her amniotic sac, much to their surprise._

" _She has so much hair!" He said when Olivia held Elle in her arms crying hysterically._

" _And blue eyes...she's beautiful!"_

She smiled still looking down at Elle who was now fully sleeping and she eased her off, burping her before she got up and changed her diaper then gently put her down in her crib, fixing her shirt and bra while she stood there looking at the sleeping child. Suddenly she heard the front door open and close and she stood watching her daughter while Elliot came into the nursery and stood at the door.

"I thought you'd be in here."

"Late night feeding…" She said before she turned around and threw herself into his arms, in tears. "I didn't mean what I said!"

"Shhh!" He said as he held her. "I shouldn't have walked away"

"You had every right the way i was acting. We're a couple now, it's not like before when we were just partners; we have to talk things out or what's the point? I'm sorry baby!"

"Let's make a deal that no matter how mad we get, we'll find a way to work through it; I love you and it feels like the whole world goes dark when you're mad at me."

"And I love you...let me make it up to you."

"It's already made up" He said as they turned off the light and left the nursery.

"Really? Cuz I was thinking that we haven't since she's been bo…"

"You want to?" He asked too eagerly causing her to laugh.

"Only if you let me be on top!" She whispered in his ear before running off to the bedroom.

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 **The end.**


End file.
